PDA Please

Fun Fact: If I don't text you back.... there is a reason. I have nothing to say.

Good morning my devoted followers. Does anyone actually read this? I've been away the last few days, my bad. To make up today's post will be in detail; girls we're first for this one. Boys take notes, bookmark the link and set it as your background. The topic of fun: Physical Contact.

Girls:

Physical Contact is actually a huge part of all relationships and we don't want to admit it but it can be a deal breaker. My best advice is be honest and open with your guy/girl/whatever. You have to be up front about what you need, want and like. People haven't learned to read minds yet- no really they can't.

If you want him to hold your hand in public or kiss you outside of the bedroom you have to tell him, if you want a nun and a ruler between you two at all times, you need to let him know.

Don't always be the one to make the contact. If you are always the one to touch him, he'll think you don't want him to touch you. Let him be first. TEASING IS GOOD! Be a flirt, so you've been together a while; keep it interesting, flirt like you're not together. Make him need you, make him remember you.

Sometimes less is more. I know on the topic of Physical Contact that is never the answer anyone wants but give me a chance. You can run your fingers gently over his back, just lay your hand on his chest or arm, holding his cheek while you kiss him- - - sometimes this is more meaningful then jumping him or being clingy. Let him know you are thinking about him and appreciate him. Let your hands linger when you touch him. When you are not there he will remember and be thinking about you.

Boys:

Le sigh. Alright starting simple, your girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever wants you to touch them. It can be the little things that mean more and are more of a turn on then the over extravagant ones. Let's break down the implied meanings and possible effects of certain basic forms of Physical Contact.

Holding Hands: This shows possession. When you are out at the mall don't be afraid to hold your girls hand or wrap your arm around her waist. This shows that you two are together and lets everyone else know you're a thing. Also its a way of silent bragging. Show off your girl like you are proud of her.

Cuddle/snuggle: This creates closeness. Watching TV or a movie, let your girlfriend cuddle next to you. You both get to stay warm and it gives her a since of belonging. This is the sensitive/ caring side of a relationship.

Kiss: There are so many kinds. The friendship kiss- just a quick peck to let her know she is awesome. The “I love you” kiss – A passionate kiss that lets her know how you feel. The “I want you” kiss- This is a kiss filled with lust and fire, she'll know what's on your mind if you kiss her like this. She also might gasp. (Note: may result in breathtaking kisses).  The jealous kiss – every guy does this, every girl smiles on the inside at this. The kind of kiss says “HA She's with me.” The break up kiss- this one can break hearts but it can be done without meaning to. It's the empty kiss. Don't just go through the motions, you're kissing someone you care about. It should be worth the effort. The ordinary kiss – just a simple kiss because you can. It has a time and place. Don't let this be all she knows, every girl needs to be kissed different ways. Finally, the “way” a girl should be kissed – with meaning.

Hug: These make girls feel safe and cared about. Make sure you hug your girlfriend  at least once every time you see her. If you don't she may feel like you don't want to get close, this can cause problems in a relationship.

Alright so a friend of mine, yes he's male, informed me that men are very visual learners. For this reason I am including examples of what I consider to be the best examples of the most important forms of kisses. If you don't like the movie choice, I'm sorry. Keep Twilight comments to yourself- I'm not team Jacob or Edward. And Bella looks constipated I'm team Supernatural. <3

So guys, go practice. :)

-Angie out.

I'm (NOT) Sorry

Alright. This blog is going to be more about I'm sorry than anything else. It is more of an attempt for me to work though some things of my own and you all just get to read it so...enjoy.

I tend to have a problem with saying I'm sorry. It is not that I don't apologize rather that I do it too much, often for things that are not my fault and I have no control over. I apologize for the weather, for disappointing, for something not working or for feelings. I think I do this because all I really want is for the other person in the relationship to be happy. This is true in all of my relationships not just my romantic ones. I have this desire for goodness, happiness and peace. I feel like if I cannot grant that to someone then I am failing that person. It is weird and slightly twisted but hey that's what makes me fun right? One of the hardest things for me to deal with is the future because there is no way for me to understand it, control it or fix it; I don't like it. If a significant other and I have a disagreement I will compromise my beliefs, agree and apologize to make that person happy.

I am done with that. I am my own person and it is time I start standing up for myself. Prepare yourself world...I'm on my way. I think that this desire to please is also emphasized when a person in a relationship makes it know that they are less than pleased when things do not go their way. For example: When I was with Jason he wanted me to buy something and it was ridicules and totally out of my budget. Because I said no he went about the rest of the day pouting and telling me how little I cared for him because I would not buy it. Finally I ended up giving up a great deal to afford the item to make him see that I did care. It was then that I realized I was being used, whether or not he was meaning to use me I don't know but I felt like nothing more than a meal ticket. Girls, Guys, Flying Sources I don't care who or what you are, if you are ever left by your significant other feeling empty, dirty, worthless or used it is time to let go and move on. Anyone who loves you and is worth your time will only build you up and encourage you- if they only have you around to belittle you and make themselves a bigger person please please please know that you are worth so much more. I don't know you but I do know that you are a beautiful person and that there is someone in the world for you and it may not be easy but sometimes we have to be patient and wait because that one person will be worth it and so much more. Love is not easy- it is work but it is worth it because love is not something you can make rather you fall into it and it makes you. When you love someone; truly love them you should want the best and happiness for them regardless what that means for you. Love is selfless and that is why it is so fantastic.

Dating a Romantic. How To.

First off you need to know if you are a romantic or if you're significant other is. The signs are there I promise. It is important to know that you should never do that is not true to yourself even if your partner likes it. You have to be comfortable. That is part of a relationship mutual comfort.

So I know I'm a hopeless romantic. I have always dreamed of having a “Prince Charming” sweep me off my feet and have a happily ever after. I've always wanted that perfect moment of kissing in the rain, the guy who just smiles wraps his arms around me kisses my forehead and tells me I'm perfect. If you think I'm sounding cheesy or like I'm telling you the story line for any chick flick you are right. Princess Bride is a great movie to get ideas from if you're not use to being romantic. I'm not saying go out and become a pirate but you'll understand the principle. The Notebook is every girls dream. Go watch it and take notes. So that is the mind of a hopeless romantic. A romantic guy is the guy who always has a flower is gentlemanly opens doors etc etc etc. again reference movies for ideas.

So the steps are going to be simple:

1.                  Understand that you are dating a romantic; it is hard I know, but they are unique.

2.                  Hold her hand in public. This is a really important aspect people sometimes over look. When you hold a girl’s hand in public it is telling everyone else that she is yours, it is telling her that you care enough not to let go.

3.                  Tell her she is pretty. She's a romantic, think of her as being a princess; they need to be told they are still your favorite.

4.                  Be a gentleman. Everything your mother taught you was true. Hold doors, pull out chairs, walk her to the door and hold the umbrella for her in the rain.

5.                  Sweet nothings. A sweet nothing can be as simple as a text telling her you miss her and she is wonderful, to surprising her somewhere, to getting her flowers, to just spending time with her. Make it clear that she is special to you and that you enjoy having her around.

6.                  Flowers.  Just a simple flower, a single carnation a dozen roses it doesn't matter. They are flowers and we (girls) love flowers. If you want to be creative or cheesy you can draw or make a flower, you buy a fake one and tell her you'll care for her til it dies (if it's fake...if it's real you'll just make her cry)

7.                  Compliments. This is a lot like number 3 but more so it is important to let her know you care about her just the way she is. Find out one of her insecurities and instead of criticizing or making fun of it, compliment it. If she is really sensitive about the dimple in her chin tell her you think it is cute. If she hates her hair, tell her it is perfect. If she doesn't like her smile, tell her to smile because it makes the sun shine. ((Only compliment if true. Do NOT lie.))

8.                  Be patient. Romantics are fragile creatures. We're terrified of getting hurt because we care too deeply for people. Be patient and let us know it is safe to open up. Sometimes, depending on the relationship, you may have to open a little to get them to open up.

So there you go, 8 easy steps to dating a romantic. Take care to be honest and true. Do not change who you are for anyone. If they do not care for you enough at your best without changing then they do not deserve you. Love everyone at their worse and you'll never go wrong.

“You only get just one time around. You only get one shot at this. One chance, to find out...
The one thing that you don't wanna miss”

A Past of Cheating

Hello dear friends. Alright so let’s jump in eh?

            Talking about the Past:

Whether it be just talking about what you did as a child or about a failed relationship to revealing secrets of long ago times of which you may not be so proud it is important to be open and honest with your partner. We may not mean to do it but we do sometimes judge and compare people because of their pasts. For example...there are times when it is appropriate to discuss your ex, if your partner asks, if you see them, or if your partner is doing something like them. Do not compare your partner to your ex. There are times when it is never OK to bring up an ex, when meeting your partner's family or friends, when having sex or in the middle of a fight. When you are talking about your childhood or past fun experiences make sure to be clear to your partner that you look forward to sharing with them and/or creating new memories with them; it is endearing. The skeletons of the past can be the most difficult to bring up in a relationship... they sometimes can mean the end of a relationship but others can mean a stronger bond. If your partner is at harm by not knowing you need to tell them, i.e.: an STD or stalker...etc. If you are at harm by not telling them, i.e.: stalker, illness, family situation... etc. If you feel that neither person will be harmed by not knowing then it is up to you and your conscious to be a guide. Some of the most commonly kept secrets in a relationship are past sexual encounters, rape, past sexual partners, criminal convictions or accusations, past marriages/ relationships and past short comings. It is easy to see why you would only want your partner to see the perfect, successful you but if they really care about you they will accept and work with you to overcome your past.

            Cheating:

What is it? How do you avoid it? Once it happens what is next? Forgiveness? The great questions the surround cheating and all of its taboos. Webster’s defines cheating as “to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud or to violate rules dishonestly or to be sexually unfaithful”. Seems pretty basic and forward but where does the line go from friendly to flirty to cheating. Personally if you care deeply for someone then you are not going to cheat on them and you will know when it feels like you are creeping into the cheating area. Honestly cheating is a very gray area in most relationships and it is important for you as a couple to discuss what you define cheating as. Is it just sleeping with someone other than your partner or does it extend into flirting with others as well. Personally if it is not something you would do in front of your mother, your partner or share with your partner over coffee its probably not a good idea. Pet names, winks, small flirts are all harmless as long as the intent is friendly and nothing more. Once one partner or both have cheated in a relationship it is up to the couple to talk it out and work through it. Forgiveness cannot be earned only granted. If a partner believes that the other must work for forgiveness it is not true forgiveness and may come with strings. Proceed with caution. Once forgiven it is important to rebuild trust, this will not happen overnight and must be worked at continuously, communication is key.

Angie out.

Trust Issues

Alright boys- this one's not for you, Girls a little vent and possibly some wisdom to be gained here, no promises tonight. This post is going to be mostly dealing with handling hurt: heartbreak- always a ray of sunshine. Might as well be forward with all of you out there, my love like mostly filled with mistakes and let downs but it's from these mistakes I've learned and matured. Hey better I made the mistakes are warn you then leaving you to make them alone, the suck.

So my first love, crush whatever he was my first “boyfriend” we'll call him Thomas. I suppose we were more just really close friends who thought we should have been dating. When you're friends and not totally into the dating thing, stay friends. It's less awkward. I guess we both knew it wasn't going to work and it was high school. I was young and really my only regret is falling so hard. Thomas taught me never make someone a priority if they are only going to make your an option.

David was my second “significant other”.  We were together for almost two years and they were good. Honestly I really do care for David and I'm so glad that we continue to be friends even though we are no longer “together”. I learned that communication is life line of a relationship. You have to be able to talk to your “other” then you can never work through the hard times. Jason was a thing that happened because of peer pressure. You should date the people you want to date. Don't let others make that choice for you. It was a long and strange month. :/ Jake my current romantic interest is complex. I understand that I can't expect fairy tales but when he makes you feel like you are the only girl in the world it is hard not to. I can't say there are mistakes with Jake or even regrets I'm happy with him and I believe that if I can learn from my past then my future is going to be wonderful.

So girls don't let others tell you who to care about. Don't date your best friend unless you both really want it and remember to be honest and open about what you want in a relationship. Communication is key.

Quit playing games with my heart.

-Angie Out.

Greetings

Welcome Dear Friends.
This page is intended to be a venue for advice in all aspects of life as well as a place for personal reflection. Please feel free to voice opinions, offer ideas, comments, and if you have an issue you'd like advice on please feel free to message or email to yours truly. I hope that this can be of some use or at least slightly entertaining. From my life to yours...

-Angie Out.